Post by Narwhal on Dec 19, 2013 1:10:39 GMT -6
Okay, time for the REAL list, since I know all of you guppies really wanted to hear it 
Kinley Reagan - For a stuck-up bitch who thinks she's all that, she's not. Although I'm a guy, I know that ugly sequins are a big no-no. And for a slut, I'm surprised she didn't show her tits more. Of course the dress showed off her stubby legs, but I didn't think it was cute. Same goes for her face.
Carly Cook - No. Listen emo chick, just... no. You're pale as fuck and live in California. And where are your tits and ass? I was looking for them last night, but you probably forgot to stuff. Also, try some color next time. I know black is slimming, but it's also unattractive when you basically wear a sheet with bright, colored shoes.
Ava Scott - Okay, what was up with the mini Prom Dress? Sequins are a giant N-O when at Homecoming. I prefer girls in tight dresses, not those stupid strapless dresses where it looks like they have no boobs. It's not what any guy considers attractive, and since all of these girls are clearly wearing the shortest dresses for GUYS, I think they should know strapless is a no.
Allison Long - Although she's a slutty freshman who I care nothing for, her dress was so ridiculously ugly and bright that I HAD to write this. The sparkles are just NO. I don't like it. Her dress looked scratchy too-- I feel bad for any guy grinding up on that saggy ass of hers.
Bunny Knight - For one, the fuck's up with her name? For two, we're not in the '20s. She looked WAY too old-fashioned and it was just the most unattractive thing ever. And cancer chick didn't even wear a wig! Which is disappointing, too, since I bet she'd be super hot with hair and better makeup. Too bad.
Allie Grey - Ugh black. Homecoming isn't a funeral! Sure you're hot and shit, but the dress? No. I like red. Why can't girls wear red, sexy dresses? It's like the girls at Tidewater don't even know what that is. It's frustrating and just, the ugliest thing ever. Please girls, get better, SEXIER, fashion sense.
Amalia Thorne - *sigh* more black. And she dressed like she was going to a business meeting, not a hot and heavy dance where all everyone will be doing is grinding up on each other and making out. It's really disappointing to see all these hot girls with potential dress like ten-year olds, or eighty-year olds. How sad.
Elizabeth Russak - It looked like she too, was wearing a sheet. But a long one. And she had so much potential! Too bad she decided to wear one of those unflattering dresses. If only it had shown off those sexy legs of hers more. The only good thing about it was that we got a LITTLE bit of cleavage. That was it, though. Damn.
Haley Davidson - Oh Jesus. Another long dress. It wasn't flattering and it just was horrid. I wish the girl had better style. She would've been way more attractive. There's something about long dresses that are so fucking ugly. GIRLS. We want to see legs. Not just your upper-half. As a guy, I can promise every girl that all a guy cares for is what's between her legs.
Sophia Thorne - Listen Sophomore. Quit acting like you're sooooo cool, 'cause you're not. Her dress was hideous. The cutouts looked like she did those super quick in the car before one of her parents saw. And her hair was a disaster. Why can't girls know to dress themselves well? Just because supermodels wear it doesn't mean it looks good in real life.
Serenity Hill - Now I'll admit I was slightly surprised. I was expecting to see the girl in cloths, but this was the first time I've ever seen her shoulders! Too bad it was in one of those hideous dresses as well. Straps are good! And the only time it's acceptable to go without them is when a girl is completely topless, or naked...
Alliegha Foster - It's not summer anymore. And that's an ugly color to me. I'll like sexy things though, not cute. And in my opinion, that dress is horrible for this. It was way too casual for homecoming and she probably would've actually gotten some action in something hot.
Tawni Walker - Although I liked the sexy part where her leg showed... it was black and has those stupid cutouts. I was less than pleased to see a doll like her wearing that. She could've done much better. I hear that's what she's like, though, a slutty doll. So maybe I CAN get her to wear something hotter.
Payton Stafford - One of the most unflattering dresses tonight. Not only did it make it look like she had no boobs, but she looked... stocky in it as well. It was no good, and god damn did she need to lotion those knees of hers. And shave her legs and pits! She lifted her arms once and it was as curly and bushy as her pubes! Gross.
Yulia Whatever - Okay, so I didn't know who this girl was until prom. But she acts like she's sooo cool, and wearing those ugly sequins? It was "fashion nightmare" as Siren called it. I agree. While she was acting like she was the hottest girl at Tidewater, which she isn't, most of the guys were making fun of the string of her tampon hanging down and her obvious underwear line.
Catalina Engelmohr - Although seeing her entire back all night was hot, she just didn't look that good overall. I'm pretty sure she has back acne, which is nasty! And the pearls looked weird and fake. She probably bought that dress for five bucks on Ebay or at Goodwill. Some model.
Riell Candace - Listen, she may be some celebrity and loved by a bunch of people, but why the hell was she dressed up like she was going to a Toga party? You're not in college, idiot. People like her bother me. I see her walking down the halls, acting like she's SOOO much better than everyone, and it pisses me off. I wish her and her brother would just leave Tidewater.
Jinora Eve - She tried so hard to be classy, yet it didn't work. AT ALL. She needs some help from the Fashion Police, yet I think she's too dull to even know what the fashion police is. Poor girl. She really needs some help. Same with her hair; it was just all so bad to me.
Syra Candace - Ugh another wannabe. With that gross blue hairs of hers, I'm surprised she's even willing to show her face. Her dress was way too mature for a fucking fourteen year old and she probably thinks she's cool too, since her siblings are famous. But guess what? She's not!
Jake and Reed Malcolm - Just because their twins, they deserve one response. WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY WEARING THAT GARBAGE? Honestly, I've never seen something more hideous, and I'm a straight GUY! Like honestly, it's like they're obsessed with making sure everyone knows they're from Texas or whatever, and at this point, it's just nasty.
Aaron Candace - More Candaces? Ugh. This guy dresses like he's awesome or whatever, and honestly, if you ask me, he was way too formal for homecoming. This would've worked, for Prom, but considering he's not.... He can just go away now.
Shara Jefferson - It was strapless and orange.... AND sequin-y. It looked like a drag-queen puked on her and it was one of the ugliest ones tonight. I hope the fashion police also gets to her and arrests her FOREVER for wearing something so damn horrible.
Faith Salee - She's pregnant and fat. A long, ugly, blue dress? It made her look old and just no. All of her cellulite was visible and it was just terrible. The poor girl seemed so oblivious to it too! Oh well. At least when she's given birth--if that's what she's even doing--she can puke all of that nastiness away.
Okay guppies, that's the end, finally! So many badly dressed people, I know! Make sure to check out Siren's edition of Best and Worst Dressed
-Captain
Kinley Reagan - For a stuck-up bitch who thinks she's all that, she's not. Although I'm a guy, I know that ugly sequins are a big no-no. And for a slut, I'm surprised she didn't show her tits more. Of course the dress showed off her stubby legs, but I didn't think it was cute. Same goes for her face.
Carly Cook - No. Listen emo chick, just... no. You're pale as fuck and live in California. And where are your tits and ass? I was looking for them last night, but you probably forgot to stuff. Also, try some color next time. I know black is slimming, but it's also unattractive when you basically wear a sheet with bright, colored shoes.
Ava Scott - Okay, what was up with the mini Prom Dress? Sequins are a giant N-O when at Homecoming. I prefer girls in tight dresses, not those stupid strapless dresses where it looks like they have no boobs. It's not what any guy considers attractive, and since all of these girls are clearly wearing the shortest dresses for GUYS, I think they should know strapless is a no.
Allison Long - Although she's a slutty freshman who I care nothing for, her dress was so ridiculously ugly and bright that I HAD to write this. The sparkles are just NO. I don't like it. Her dress looked scratchy too-- I feel bad for any guy grinding up on that saggy ass of hers.
Bunny Knight - For one, the fuck's up with her name? For two, we're not in the '20s. She looked WAY too old-fashioned and it was just the most unattractive thing ever. And cancer chick didn't even wear a wig! Which is disappointing, too, since I bet she'd be super hot with hair and better makeup. Too bad.
Allie Grey - Ugh black. Homecoming isn't a funeral! Sure you're hot and shit, but the dress? No. I like red. Why can't girls wear red, sexy dresses? It's like the girls at Tidewater don't even know what that is. It's frustrating and just, the ugliest thing ever. Please girls, get better, SEXIER, fashion sense.
Amalia Thorne - *sigh* more black. And she dressed like she was going to a business meeting, not a hot and heavy dance where all everyone will be doing is grinding up on each other and making out. It's really disappointing to see all these hot girls with potential dress like ten-year olds, or eighty-year olds. How sad.
Elizabeth Russak - It looked like she too, was wearing a sheet. But a long one. And she had so much potential! Too bad she decided to wear one of those unflattering dresses. If only it had shown off those sexy legs of hers more. The only good thing about it was that we got a LITTLE bit of cleavage. That was it, though. Damn.
Haley Davidson - Oh Jesus. Another long dress. It wasn't flattering and it just was horrid. I wish the girl had better style. She would've been way more attractive. There's something about long dresses that are so fucking ugly. GIRLS. We want to see legs. Not just your upper-half. As a guy, I can promise every girl that all a guy cares for is what's between her legs.
Sophia Thorne - Listen Sophomore. Quit acting like you're sooooo cool, 'cause you're not. Her dress was hideous. The cutouts looked like she did those super quick in the car before one of her parents saw. And her hair was a disaster. Why can't girls know to dress themselves well? Just because supermodels wear it doesn't mean it looks good in real life.
Serenity Hill - Now I'll admit I was slightly surprised. I was expecting to see the girl in cloths, but this was the first time I've ever seen her shoulders! Too bad it was in one of those hideous dresses as well. Straps are good! And the only time it's acceptable to go without them is when a girl is completely topless, or naked...
Alliegha Foster - It's not summer anymore. And that's an ugly color to me. I'll like sexy things though, not cute. And in my opinion, that dress is horrible for this. It was way too casual for homecoming and she probably would've actually gotten some action in something hot.
Tawni Walker - Although I liked the sexy part where her leg showed... it was black and has those stupid cutouts. I was less than pleased to see a doll like her wearing that. She could've done much better. I hear that's what she's like, though, a slutty doll. So maybe I CAN get her to wear something hotter.
Payton Stafford - One of the most unflattering dresses tonight. Not only did it make it look like she had no boobs, but she looked... stocky in it as well. It was no good, and god damn did she need to lotion those knees of hers. And shave her legs and pits! She lifted her arms once and it was as curly and bushy as her pubes! Gross.
Yulia Whatever - Okay, so I didn't know who this girl was until prom. But she acts like she's sooo cool, and wearing those ugly sequins? It was "fashion nightmare" as Siren called it. I agree. While she was acting like she was the hottest girl at Tidewater, which she isn't, most of the guys were making fun of the string of her tampon hanging down and her obvious underwear line.
Catalina Engelmohr - Although seeing her entire back all night was hot, she just didn't look that good overall. I'm pretty sure she has back acne, which is nasty! And the pearls looked weird and fake. She probably bought that dress for five bucks on Ebay or at Goodwill. Some model.
Riell Candace - Listen, she may be some celebrity and loved by a bunch of people, but why the hell was she dressed up like she was going to a Toga party? You're not in college, idiot. People like her bother me. I see her walking down the halls, acting like she's SOOO much better than everyone, and it pisses me off. I wish her and her brother would just leave Tidewater.
Jinora Eve - She tried so hard to be classy, yet it didn't work. AT ALL. She needs some help from the Fashion Police, yet I think she's too dull to even know what the fashion police is. Poor girl. She really needs some help. Same with her hair; it was just all so bad to me.
Syra Candace - Ugh another wannabe. With that gross blue hairs of hers, I'm surprised she's even willing to show her face. Her dress was way too mature for a fucking fourteen year old and she probably thinks she's cool too, since her siblings are famous. But guess what? She's not!
Jake and Reed Malcolm - Just because their twins, they deserve one response. WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY WEARING THAT GARBAGE? Honestly, I've never seen something more hideous, and I'm a straight GUY! Like honestly, it's like they're obsessed with making sure everyone knows they're from Texas or whatever, and at this point, it's just nasty.
Aaron Candace - More Candaces? Ugh. This guy dresses like he's awesome or whatever, and honestly, if you ask me, he was way too formal for homecoming. This would've worked, for Prom, but considering he's not.... He can just go away now.
Shara Jefferson - It was strapless and orange.... AND sequin-y. It looked like a drag-queen puked on her and it was one of the ugliest ones tonight. I hope the fashion police also gets to her and arrests her FOREVER for wearing something so damn horrible.
Faith Salee - She's pregnant and fat. A long, ugly, blue dress? It made her look old and just no. All of her cellulite was visible and it was just terrible. The poor girl seemed so oblivious to it too! Oh well. At least when she's given birth--if that's what she's even doing--she can puke all of that nastiness away.
Okay guppies, that's the end, finally! So many badly dressed people, I know! Make sure to check out Siren's edition of Best and Worst Dressed
-Captain