Post by Narwhal on Dec 4, 2013 22:21:54 GMT -6
The name's Captain. You bitches are my guppies now.
It's time to hit the most crucial part of high school. Who's worthy....... and who's not. It's the Hot or Not list. JUNIORS AND SENIORS ONLY, of course, since who ever cared about a Sophomore or Freshmen? Definitely not me! It's time to hear if you're hot or not, since only our opinions matter.
HOT LIST:
Kinley Reagan: Although she seems like a stuck-up idiot, I won't lie, she's pretty fuckin' hot, I won't lie. Although she's a whore. If I were you, male readers out there, I would definitely try to get it with her. She's easy. Though, I would hold off just a little, she may be bearing an STD!
Amalia Thorne: A little prude girl who refuses sex constantly, but I would get with her. Sources tell me she gave three guys a blowjobs at a party last week! Some prude!
Tawni Walker: Easy as fuck, but a hottie. I hear she sucks in bed, too! Also, she's been really getting around, and that mouth of hers is DIRTY, same with that vag. I'd steer clear of her, guys, since she's definitely no good! But hot, somehow....
Elizabeth Russak: Oh! A definite hottie. Easy as fuck, and her tits and legs? A+++++ She's been sleeping around with basically everyone! I would recommend going to her if you need a quickie, she's sure to give you one!
Haley Davidson: Total hottie! But she's annoying as fuck. Though, she definitely gets around. I hear she's dating a Junior named Lucas! What a loser! She could do so much better than that, though I'm sure she wouldn't know, which that dumb blonde head of hers.
Allie Grey: Super hot! But it's obvious she spray tans her skin! She's fucking brown! Also she was apparently a prude whore? NO, lies. I hear she slept with Brandon at the party not too long ago, and then a few other guys! Strange how all the prudes are turning into whores!
Jinora Eve: MEGA HOT. Those glasses of hers? Stellar. She's not even a whore. Amazing, huh? She's pretty rockin' guys, I'd totally tap that.
NOT LIST:
Ciera Hollycross: Sweet little Ciera. You were so cute and innocent.... and then Stefan came along. Now you're a whore! Just because Stefan found someone better doesn't mean you should turn into a prostitute! Is that how you pay for your clothes? HA. You're not even a hot one! You're definitely one for the uglies.
Serenity Hill: Ew! I hear she smokes pot with all the grossos. And she actually likes school! Who actually likes school? SHe's a fucking tutor! And those clothes she wears? She needs some help.
Katelynn Strassburg: Mexicans? Ew. Her butt and boobs are implants and she got lipo not to long ago! Super ratch if you ask me. She fucks everyone too, even girls! Lesbo! If I were her, I'd stick my head in the dirt for a couple centuries.
Carly Cook: Nonono. You are way too skinny. Do you even eat? Where are your boobs and your butt? Your hair is too scraggly and gross. You need some help! I'm sure there are tons of girls on the hot list that could help you out, since you clearly need it!
Haven Cade: When was the last time you opened your mouth? Last I saw you, you were talking to your rat friends in the corner of a bathroom! And that red hair? It's out! Red hair is ugly as shit. I'm a dude and even to me it looks like a girl on her period humped your head. Use some hair dye!
Nanette Knight: Ew, who likes bald chicks? I hear she has cancer, but lied and said she "donated" her hair to Locks for Love. Lies! She's cancer. She's supposed to die in a few months. I can tell, with those chapped lips of hers and pale, pale skin, she can pass for dead already!
Reagan Covington: He... She? What are you? You're ugly as shit, don't let anybody tell you otherwise. You're the one I would put here! God. Choose a gender! I hear Reagan here got moved to a female door because he was sexually harassing his old dormie! If I were you guys, I would stay away from him or her!
Evelyn Scott: "Miss Perfect" Yeah, no. You're annoying and sing country music. We're not in Texas! Go away! Nobody wants you here, like, no. Just stay away from us before you rub your stupid songs onto the rest of us normal people. And stop throwing yourself onto every guy! We all see it, it's gross. Bye.
Faith Salee: You could've been cute, but then you're so quiet. And apparently, pregnant too! That's nast! Who knocked you up? Your dad? I bet he's the only one who actually thinks you're attractive! Get an abortion, slut!
And that's the end of this edition of HOT OR NOT. I hope all you ugly girls get your priorities(and faces) together. There are many beauticians who can maybe help you!
Until next time guppies!
Captain
It's time to hit the most crucial part of high school. Who's worthy....... and who's not. It's the Hot or Not list. JUNIORS AND SENIORS ONLY, of course, since who ever cared about a Sophomore or Freshmen? Definitely not me! It's time to hear if you're hot or not, since only our opinions matter.
HOT LIST:
Kinley Reagan: Although she seems like a stuck-up idiot, I won't lie, she's pretty fuckin' hot, I won't lie. Although she's a whore. If I were you, male readers out there, I would definitely try to get it with her. She's easy. Though, I would hold off just a little, she may be bearing an STD!
Amalia Thorne: A little prude girl who refuses sex constantly, but I would get with her. Sources tell me she gave three guys a blowjobs at a party last week! Some prude!
Tawni Walker: Easy as fuck, but a hottie. I hear she sucks in bed, too! Also, she's been really getting around, and that mouth of hers is DIRTY, same with that vag. I'd steer clear of her, guys, since she's definitely no good! But hot, somehow....
Elizabeth Russak: Oh! A definite hottie. Easy as fuck, and her tits and legs? A+++++ She's been sleeping around with basically everyone! I would recommend going to her if you need a quickie, she's sure to give you one!
Haley Davidson: Total hottie! But she's annoying as fuck. Though, she definitely gets around. I hear she's dating a Junior named Lucas! What a loser! She could do so much better than that, though I'm sure she wouldn't know, which that dumb blonde head of hers.
Allie Grey: Super hot! But it's obvious she spray tans her skin! She's fucking brown! Also she was apparently a prude whore? NO, lies. I hear she slept with Brandon at the party not too long ago, and then a few other guys! Strange how all the prudes are turning into whores!
Jinora Eve: MEGA HOT. Those glasses of hers? Stellar. She's not even a whore. Amazing, huh? She's pretty rockin' guys, I'd totally tap that.
NOT LIST:
Ciera Hollycross: Sweet little Ciera. You were so cute and innocent.... and then Stefan came along. Now you're a whore! Just because Stefan found someone better doesn't mean you should turn into a prostitute! Is that how you pay for your clothes? HA. You're not even a hot one! You're definitely one for the uglies.
Serenity Hill: Ew! I hear she smokes pot with all the grossos. And she actually likes school! Who actually likes school? SHe's a fucking tutor! And those clothes she wears? She needs some help.
Katelynn Strassburg: Mexicans? Ew. Her butt and boobs are implants and she got lipo not to long ago! Super ratch if you ask me. She fucks everyone too, even girls! Lesbo! If I were her, I'd stick my head in the dirt for a couple centuries.
Carly Cook: Nonono. You are way too skinny. Do you even eat? Where are your boobs and your butt? Your hair is too scraggly and gross. You need some help! I'm sure there are tons of girls on the hot list that could help you out, since you clearly need it!
Haven Cade: When was the last time you opened your mouth? Last I saw you, you were talking to your rat friends in the corner of a bathroom! And that red hair? It's out! Red hair is ugly as shit. I'm a dude and even to me it looks like a girl on her period humped your head. Use some hair dye!
Nanette Knight: Ew, who likes bald chicks? I hear she has cancer, but lied and said she "donated" her hair to Locks for Love. Lies! She's cancer. She's supposed to die in a few months. I can tell, with those chapped lips of hers and pale, pale skin, she can pass for dead already!
Reagan Covington: He... She? What are you? You're ugly as shit, don't let anybody tell you otherwise. You're the one I would put here! God. Choose a gender! I hear Reagan here got moved to a female door because he was sexually harassing his old dormie! If I were you guys, I would stay away from him or her!
Evelyn Scott: "Miss Perfect" Yeah, no. You're annoying and sing country music. We're not in Texas! Go away! Nobody wants you here, like, no. Just stay away from us before you rub your stupid songs onto the rest of us normal people. And stop throwing yourself onto every guy! We all see it, it's gross. Bye.
Faith Salee: You could've been cute, but then you're so quiet. And apparently, pregnant too! That's nast! Who knocked you up? Your dad? I bet he's the only one who actually thinks you're attractive! Get an abortion, slut!
And that's the end of this edition of HOT OR NOT. I hope all you ugly girls get your priorities(and faces) together. There are many beauticians who can maybe help you!
Until next time guppies!
Captain